


The Cottontail

by suckaknob



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Prostitute AU, Prostitute Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2017-12-29 06:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckaknob/pseuds/suckaknob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[DISCONTINUED] Prostitute AU- Eren POV │ M for language and sexual themes</p><p>*Title was 'Cottontails' but has now changed to 'The Cottontail'*</p><p> It had been ten minutes since he had entered the room and we had yet to even touch. Maybe he was shy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sex and Bread

**Author's Note:**

> M is for language and sexual themes, smut towards the end of the fic. This fic is based solely on Levi and Eren's relationship and if there are some details left out it's because they aren't that important/don't hinder their relationship. I'll gladly answer any questions regarding specifics in the comments if you ask.
> 
> I'm awful at commitment and schedules.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading! ♥

The first time we met, he stared at me with those eyes, his eyebrows relaxed and expressionless, black hair neatly falling into his face, a tattoo on his right cheek. I was half nude and sitting on the bed, lips in a pout and head tilted to the side and those damn eyes pierced through me, goose bumps adorning my pale skin. He watched me, hands hanging loosely at his sides as I trailed my eyes up and down his figure, trying hard to ignore the ice that trailed up my spine from his gaze.

The first time he spoke to me, words cold and unrelenting as he let them slip past his thin lips, eyes narrowed like it was my fault that the last patron to grace my presence smelled like ‘hairy balls’. I had had customers like him before, the kind who tried to be on a higher level than a whore who worked long hours selling his body just to end up broke by the end of the month. 

I smirked and I noticed the way his eyes seemed to focus on me for the first time since he had entered my private room. Words passed through my red tinted lips and I lit a cigarette, smoke oozing out of from my parted lips as I leaned back on my elbows, one elegantly plucked eyebrow raised as I noted the time, the minutes ticking towards the allotted time limit. 

“Honey,” my voice was in a purr, just how my manager taught me, lips puffing out more than needed, “If you don’t hurry, our time together will be cut short… unless you want to pay a little extra so you’ll be my pet for another hour.” Slowly, I licked my lips, back arching as I locked eyes with him, annoyance filtering up into my stomach as he just continued to stare, making me wonder if he was deaf.

It had been ten minutes since he had entered the room and we had yet to even touch. Maybe he was shy. 

Shamelessly, words that would have made any stubborn mule’s knees shake with need left my lips, “You don’t have to be shy, I’ll take care of you…” Taking another drag, my cigarette now half used, I waited for the tell-tale blush to dust his cheeks, the indicator that he was, indeed embarrassed.

Nothing. If anything, his eyes had lit up in amusement, clearly mocking me. Too bad for him that I was already used to the mocking that came with being a slut who rode dicks for a living.

Sighing, I sat up, flicking the half-used cigarette onto the ground and stepping on it with my heel to put it out. Dropping my fiasco, face in a scowl and body slumped onto my knees, eyes narrowed in accusation, I placed my cheek in the palm of my hand, elbow indenting my knee. 

“All right. What the fuck are you doing here if we’re not going to fuck like you paid for? If you want to stand there and look pretty, then at least sit down and look pretty as I suck your dick.”

Those thin lips pulled up slightly and his dark, emotionless eyes finally showed something, even if it was triumph. He walked towards me, his short legs carrying him surprisingly far in a few seconds and I watched him warily as he stopped in front of me, his arms crossed and lips upturned slightly. Now that he was closer, the outline of three black tears were etched into his skin. If I wasn’t busy trying to seduce the man, then I would have been curious. 

“For fuck’s sake!” my temper now lost, I glared at him, teeth bared in a snarl as I counted down the seconds when he’d be gone and the next hormonal man would replace him. “Let’s recap here, you spent money on a whore, you’re a room in room with said whore who is willing to let you do anything you want to him, and we have ten minutes until your time is up and you’ve yet to enter my asshole; that sound correct?”

Mutely, he nodded, a short, breathy chuckle leaving his lips as he switched his weight onto his left foot, steely eyes still piercing into me. 

In that moment I felt little, I felt like a small child who’s just been reprimanded by an adult who knew eons more about the real world. I hated that. The best thing about being a prostitute was the power I held over my costumers, even if it was them shoving their dicks in me. I flourished knowing that I was the one responsible for their pleasure filled grunts, that’s what’s kept me sane, that’s what made selling my body to men for a couple of hours of pleasure more tolerable. 

But this man. He made me feel as though I was powerless, especially when he demanded that I beg for it with the same expression that I had snapped at him with. And as the good little slut, I did.

But man, did I want to punch him for it. 

C=3

A cigarette dangled loosely from my smeared lips, eyes staring blankly into the ground before me as the night air tried to reach me through the thin jacket I wore which covered my revealing garb. 

It had been three months. 

Three months since that fucker’s stupid eyes gazed into mine and those thin lips told me I smelled like hairy balls. The last I saw of him was a twirl of his fingers as a bouncer knocked on the door and indicated that time was up as I laid on the bed, spent and exhausted for the first time in a long time. And those damn eyes. It was like there was some stupid ass hidden meaning behind their emotionless screen, like those damn eyes were mocking me for losing my temper. For breaking my prostitute façade.

My cheek twitched in irritation, smoke blowing out violently as I reached up to scratch the back of my head, teeth grinding together. “Shit.” Taking one last drag, I flicked it away from me as I pushed myself up, heading towards the back door of the club with tense shoulders. 

“Up front, Jaeger, you’ve got a cottontail.” 

Grunting in acknowledgment, face touched up and body re-oiled, I made my way towards the room, the sounds of muffled skin on skin contact reaching my ears. Nodding towards Reiner, he opened the door, a murmured ‘go get ‘em’ reaching my ears before he closed the door and resumed his intimidating stance. 

It was precisely two minutes before the door opened again and in walked my new customer as I waited on the bed, my feet crossed lazily and arms behind my head. Glancing at him from the corner of my eyes, I let loose a loud, irritated groan as dark eyes met my own, a mumbled ‘the fuck?’ breaking the tense atmosphere. 

Glaring at him, I opened my mouth to tell him to get the hell out but he interrupted me, face as impassive as ever but eyes dangerously dark, “Listen kid, I came here to feel good and that’s it, I don’t want to play any games with you.” 

My eyes widened angrily, teeth baring as his words stabbed at me like I was the one who played the game the last time he paid for me. Reigning in my anger, I arched my back off of the bed as I got up, making my way over to him in my flimsy robe.

Leaning close to him, and noting the addition of one more black tear on his cheek, I breathed lightly against the side of his neck, nose brushing against his skin as whispered words blew across the sensitive skin of his neck, “Anything for you, baby.”

I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him in the direction of the bed, placing his hands on my swaying waist as I did so, the pit of my stomach giving an uncomfortable twist. 

It was hard for me to deny how much I was looking forward to tonight, even if I was just a slut for him to use.

C=3

He left me sweaty and surprised an hour later, my charcoal-lined eyes wide as I stared at his retreating back. I lifted a shaking hand to my cheek, wetness that was definitely not sexual liquids clinging onto the pads of my fingers.  
Tears. 

I blinked, mouth open in surprise as I sat up, muscles screaming in protest. Eyes locked on the closed door in which he had made his escape out of, I felt my heart twist as the image of his dark eyes squeezed closed in agony, tears seeping from beneath his closed lids, crowded my vision. 

C=3

“Hey.”

I blinked, pausing mid-step as I glanced over in surprise at the familiar voice. Cold dark eyes found mine and my lips pulled up into a smirk, “Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here, short, dark, and handsome.”

The corner of his lips lifted in a snarl at being called short and I laughed, placing a hand on my hip and I looked him up and down, wary of his presence. He seemed better than the last time I had saw him, and I licked my lips at the dark skinny jeans and black shirt he wore. Maybe it was just a PMS thing?

“Anyways,” I brushed my bands from my eyes, “What are you doing in a grocery store?” 

“Buying bread,” he lifted his hand, a bag of bread held firmly in his grasp as he raised an eyebrow at me like I was an idiot. 

“Oh.” It was so mundane, especially since the only time I had seen him was when I was underneath him and he was sticking his wiener in me. I let out a giggle, a hand coming up to cover my mouth as he rolled his eyes. “Sorry, anyways… um,” I bit my lip and looked down, “Do you want to get like lunch or something?”

“No.”

I jerked back a few steps, surprised at how quickly he responded and how harsh his tone was, “O-Oh.”

Now I felt stupid. Of course he wouldn’t want to be seen with me in public, here I am a whore and he’s just one of my clients. How dumb of me. 

I forced out a laugh, a hand coming up to wave him off, “Ha! Right right, never mind then. Well, I guess this is me saying goodbye,” I turned around, face scrunched up in displeasure as my stomach curled into a tight fist angrily. 

A hand wrapped around my wrist and I paused, heart beating loudly in my chest as I turned to look at the man who had paid for my body and his pleasure, “Idiot. I’m busy.”

My mouth formed in an ‘o’ and I grinned, eyes squeezing shut as laughter spilled from my mouth, “Oh okay, my name’s Eren by the way, Eren Jaegar.”

He licked his lips and let go of me, his eyes flashing with interest as he held his hand out in front of him for me to shake, “Levi.”

I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t know if he was a stalker or a criminal but hell, I was a prostitute, and that’s why I reached my hand out and firmly grasped his, a smile gracing my lips as I spoke quietly, “Levi, it’s nice to meet you.” 

I didn’t care that we met in a whorehouse, my body open and waiting for him. All that mattered was the fact that right then I was shaking hands with a man named Levi who had dark eyes and was shorter than me.


	2. IHOP and Parks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet, twice, and Eren deals with some inner feelings shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Drug abuse mention about halfway through the chapter. Also lots of self-hate.
> 
> Other than that, the usual slutty prostitute stuff, except not in this chapter. Haha, hope you enjoy and thanks for reading :)

“What’s a Cottontail?”

I pulled my eyes from a frazzled woman and her crying child that was covered in syrup, eyes connecting with dark ones. It took a moment for Levi’s question to register in my mind and I noticed the way the corner of his lip twitched in irritation. “Oh…” I let out a small laugh, running my finger along the table we sat at as I thought of the best way to answer. “It’s what we call a regular.”

Dark eyebrows scrunched as he lifted his drink to his lips, eyes narrowed in concentration. My lips parted as a wild thirst scratched at my throat and I swallowed, eyes glued to his lips as all concentration was thrown out of the window. When his tongue darted out to trace the glass’s rim, my eyes snapped up to his, feeling slightly ashamed at having been caught ogling him. He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lips pulled up in a smirk as he placed his cup back onto the table. The ass.

It was weird to be sitting in slightly uncomfortable and sticky booths with one of my patrons in a rundown Denny’s during the middle of the day. As long as he was fine with it, it didn’t bother me. Plus I got a free meal and it had been a long time since I had had what was like a five star restaurant in my eyes. Even if the cheese sticks were mediocre at best and the tea was five days old, it was better than anything on the McDonald’s dollar menu.

“That’s stupid.”

My eyebrows drew together and for a moment I forgot about what he was talking about until realization dawned on me and I snorted, “Yeah, that’s the point. Cottontails are basically rabbits, which in turn is like saying the regulars are like bunnies when it comes to sex.”

“I assumed, fuckwad.”

“That’s what I get for trying to be nice and explain it for an idiot like you,” I sighed, lips pulling up into a smile as he glowered and straightened his shoulders like he wanted to seem taller. It was kind of cute.

Maybe if he wasn’t so sketchy looking.

It honestly came as a surprise when he had called me the following day after we bumped into each other at Walmart, blatantly saying that we were going to get lunch before hanging up. I was left confused for a total of two minutes before my phone buzzed with a text from him explaining that he’d pick me up (‘Where’s your crappy apartment?”). He was kind of like a little kid who’s too embarrassed to show a picture they drew to their crush so they throw it in their face and runaway.

At least that’s what I told myself.

“Are you stopping by the club tonight?” His eyes snapped up to mine and I smirked, arms crossed in front of me as I shifted my foot, purposefully knocking my shoe into his calf, “Because, I really want to see you tonight…” I trailed off as he licked his lips, my sneaker clad foot softly caressing his leg.

“You know,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, revealing piercings on the top of his ears, “It’s easy for me to forget the circumstances in which we met, especially without your amateur makeup job smeared all over your face.”

My eyebrow raised and an amused scoff escaped my lips, “Oh really?” I drawled, lazily pointing a finger towards him, “Try having to redo your makeup after every fucker with a relationship problem while you’re still slick with sweat and hazy from a fuckass orgasm.”

Silence accompanied us as we stared at each other, the silent challenge to not blink first making my blood boil. When my eyes started to water, he sighed and looked away, absent-mindedly scratching at the table, “I highly doubt the sounds that came from your mouth while I was sticking my dick inside you was anything but pleasurable.”

My cheeks flushed and our waitress showed up with our food as the man across from me smirked, eyebrow raised challengingly. 

In that moment I swore I saw the gates of hell opening as Satan laughed maniacally like an old friend.

C=3

When I got home from work, my legs were shaking, eyes stinging as a familiar pain reared its ugly face and crashed into me. It had been a few weeks since the urge to do anything related to substances that muddled my mind and made me happy for a few hours had made its presence known and I fought to control the shaking in my hands as I grabbed a bottle of water from my fridge, scrambling to open the child-proof top of pain relievers.

Once I had taken the pain killer, I dropped onto the ground, my back against my ratty kitchen cabinets as I hugged my knees to my chest, eyes squeezed closed as my mind fought tooth and nail with me. 

I had gotten hooked on practically anything that could make me forget who I was within an hour of taking it and for four years I lived my life using my wages to buy my next hit. I’m not going to lie, those years were great but eventually I started crashing harder and I was losing myself until finally I passed out from dehydration and was admitted to the hospital. 

That was the last time I saw my family before they disowned me, their money the last parting gift as I weakly called out, begging for them to help me. 

It’s a touchy subject.

Heaving myself from the cracked, dirty floor, I stumbled towards my bed, steeling myself against a night of tossing and turning. I hated this. I hated being alone and I hated having to rely only on myself. I hated my job. I hated my life. 

As I laid on my sodden sheets, I covered my tear-streaked face, nails digging into my skin as I curled into a ball. 

It was going to be a long night.

C=3

“You didn’t come.”

Levi raised an eyebrow, blatantly saying, “That wouldn’t be the first time.”

I forced a smile, hoping beyond hope that he’d get the hint. It was unlikely but I had such a shitty night last night at work and at home that his presence was something that I craved shamefully. I don’t know why I was so hooked on him, his taste or his smell, but I was. And I hated it. 

“I missed you, darling,” I sidled up to his side, even bending down a little so I was at equal height as him. My voice was low, almost like a purr, and I ran one of my hands up his chest, fingered one of the buttons of his shirt, “I stayed up all night in that boring old room for you but you never graced me with your presence, I had to relieve my itch all by myself,” my eyelashes fluttered and my lips formed in a pout. 

He shifted away from me, face bored as he looked around the small park we were in.

He continued to surprise me. This morning my phone’s ringtone was what awoke me from my slumber and as I fought to stifle a yawn, only managing a couple of hours of sleep. His voice sent tingles down my spine and made my eyes open wider. This time he told me that we were going to the park, even gracing me with the knowledge of the time he would pick me up before he disconnected the line without even a goodbye.

At this point, I didn’t mind. Whatever the fuck this was between he and I, I was open to whatever the hell direction he wanted to lead me in. I was just along for the ride, it’s not like I had anything else to do.

“That’s cute. I bet you were plenty busy with your other clients.”

“But I wanted you the most, you know how to make me scream,” my tongue darted out to lick my lips and a flare of triumph ebbed inside me when his eyes followed my movement. That feeling quickly died as he pushed me away, a look of disgust on his face. 

“Listen, I’m not interested in your slutty persona right now, so why don’t you cut it out?”

“Fine,” I straightened up, eyes narrowing in anger as I crossed my arms and looked away, feeling embarrassed, “Whatever asshole, here I am saying that I want you and you have to go and be a big dick about it. Goddamn and here I was trying to say you’re like a sex god and no one else compares to your majestic beauty but no, god forbid you let me have one night of pleasure.”

“Jesus, I’ll come if you shut the hell up already, damn. It’s like you’re a fucking drama queen, grow up,” he scoffed, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it up, “I hate children so stop acting like one.”

Despite his insult, my face brightened and I stuffed my hands in my pockets of my jacket as we continued walking, a comfortable silence enveloping us. It was nearing winter and the leaves were starting to turn colors as mornings became cooler and cooler. Honestly this was my favorite time of year, especially since I was permitted to wear my black stockings to keep my legs warm when the club’s heater broke or if I was assigned to walk the streets to lure in customers.

Regardless, fishnets or tights made my legs look absolutely amazing and the cooler weather called for lots of layers underneath my skimpy outfits. 

We both stopped in front of a bench and without having to speak to one another we sat down side by side, our arms pressed close to each other as I tugged at the beanie adorning the top of my head. Expelling a breath, I stretched my legs out in front of me and slumped in my seat, throwing him a goofy grin in hopes of breaking his stoic exterior. 

“Since you know where I work, can I know where you work?”

He took a drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke ooze from between his lips after a second of contemplation. “I work mornings as a paper boy then I work afternoons as a cashier at Win-Dixie. Nothing fancy.”

I raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear that he was the one who delivered the neatly placed newspaper every morning. “Huh. I could have sworn you were a drug lord,” I paused as I glanced up at him with calculating eyes, “Never mind, you have too many tattoos and piercings to be that high in rank. Maybe a dealer or something low-life like that.”

Flicking the ashes from the half-gone cigarette, he rolled his eyes, his lips pulled up slightly in amusement but he didn’t say anything and I took that as an okay to continue talking. “Where do you live?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair only to fix it so it fell neatly around his face, like he was afraid the heavy amounts of hairspray in it wouldn’t keep it in place (I knew the many smells of hairspray having been using it since I first spread my legs). “Nowhere particular, it’s kind of shitty actually,” he glanced at me and looked away towards a group of pigeons, “But better than yours.”

I sat up in surprise and glared at him, “I’ll have you know that I worked overtime for half a year to be able to afford that, you asshole. Don’t insult my nest,” I huffed as I leaned back against the bench, sliding down a little so I looked like I was about to fall off. It was comfortable.

“That’s why you have to run to my car just so you won’t be shot. Real nice. Almost like a gated community you have there,” he shook his head as he flicked the spent cigarette from his fingers before pulling out another one form its box.

My lips opened to protest but I decided on keeping it to myself since it was true, for the most part anyways; I wasn’t in danger of being shot, I just didn’t want to have to deal with some of the old perverts who liked to get touchy feely. I got enough of that at my job. 

“I noticed the other night that you had some major callouses on your hands, where’d you get them from? Let me guess, you’re a secret professional thumb wrestler,” my lips pulled up in a teasing grin and he scoffed.

“How would I have callouses if I thumb wrestled?”

Deciding to be brave, I reached a hand out and grabbed his that was lying on top of his thigh, my warm fingers coming into contact with his nearly frozen ones. “Holy shit you need to wear gloves!” he snorted in response as I enveloped his hand in between my own, the pads of my fingers gently tracing the rough skin of his palm. 

“I used to work for a construction company.”

Looking up at him, my lips pulled down in a frown at his clipped tone, wondering if my physical contact was bothering him, which would be weird since we’ve already skipped the crush phase and went straight to the fuck like bunnies portion. But I guess I wouldn’t blame him if he was disgusted by sharing contact with a dirty whore like me.  
“Ah…” When he didn’t pull his hand away, I continued to hold his hand in between mine so his hands could have a chance to warm up, their frigidness still seeping out, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

He grunted as he took another drag, eyes staring disinterestedly in front of him.

“What’s a newspaper boy slash cashier doing hanging around a slut like me?”

“For me to answer that, then you have to answer something for me,” he cold eyes glanced down at my slumped form and I shrugged, dread curling angrily in the pit of my stomach as my grip tightened around his hand. I knew what he wanted to ask. Everyone always asked that damn question.

His lips opened and he breathed the giant-elephant-in-the-room question. Eyes hesitant but words strong and unrelenting as I shook my head and let go of his hand like it was poison and I stood up from the bench, hands clenched into fists that were buried deep within my pockets. Without a goodbye, I left him sitting on the bench, eyes downcast but not disappointed, like he expected me to get up and walk away. Like he only asked that question because my own was too personal for him to confide to a worthless prostitute.

Fuck him and that goddamned question.

Just fuck him.


	3. Make-up(s)  and Fashion Trends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's a huge dick, good thing it's his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! What I thought was going to be a one-shot turned into a multi chaptered fic and now that I've planned everything out, I should be dishing out updates more and more, although please don't hate me if I don't keep a schedule since I'm in my senior year and I'm stressed as all hell!  
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, it means a lot to me:)
> 
> WARNING: Implied sexual themes towards the end

My sneaker-clad feet stomped along the park’s sidewalk, my hands stuffed deep in my pockets as anger radiated from me, fuck him and his stupid question. Why couldn’t I have one normal relationship without it being fucked up with why’s and how’s? I hated that question. It had torn so many relationships that I had worked hard to get into and had ruined my trust in humanity as a whole.

“Why did you become a prostitute?”

I scoffed as his stupid voice repeated the question in my head. I don’t know, maybe I became the lowest of the lows because God hates me and wants me to be a dicksucker. “Fuck.”

A strong hand grasped my shoulder and spun me around and my face scrunched up as I got ready to pounce on whoever thought it was alright to grab an angry man’s shoulder who also happened to have a diva complex.

“Wha-!”

“No more questions about the past.”

The angry words that were fighting to be released from my throat, died and I paused, eyes wide as Levi’s uninterested expression met my eyes. He came after me? It seemed he was one for the dramatics as much as I was. 

An annoyed sigh left my lips and I pointed to his tattooed cheek, an eyebrow raised, “I’m going to assume that you didn’t answer my question because it had something to do with the…” I paused, searching for the right word, “Decoration on your face.” 

The slight tightening of his lips was all I needed for an answer and I sighed, leaning back on my heels as I looked up at the sky, “It’s a deal,” I pulled my hand from its warm cacoon and held it out for him to shake.

“Do you always have to get the last jab in?” he grasped my hand and I noted he had hard callouses despite their porcelain exterior.   
It was easy to forget about my previous anger now that I had gotten the last word and I found myself returning to my usual sassy self. I nodded, my shoulders releasing tension as a smirk spread across my face, “Sure ‘nough, darling.” His face morphed into a scowl and he looked away, seemingly forgetting that our hands were still attached, “Are you going to let go or wha-“

“Let’s go get some coffee, my treat,” without waiting for my response, he took off, pulling me along behind him, his hand warm against mine. From my position it almost looked like his cheeks were redder than usual, but that might have just been my imagination.

A small grin lifted my lips and I blinked as my stomach churned painfully, the view of the man in front of me taking my breath away. 

I blamed it on gas.

C=3

“Café mocha latte… thingy.”

Two pairs of eyes stared at me like I was wearing a goddamn clown suit and I huffed, my fake confidence slipping as I shifted from one foot to the other, “Um… I meant hot chocolate.”

The cashier seemed to be satisfied with the answer and tapped on the computer with long-ass nails like she was speaking Morse code to the whole entire world. Levi turned to look at me as I coughed into my hand, the muffled, “bitch,” only being heard by him. 

“What?”

“No need to snap at me, I was just wondering if you were coming down with a cold,” he rolled his eyes and handed the cashier money, my eyes watching like a hawk in case she nicked him with her talons. 

“Nah, just trying to remember when having nails the size of my wee-wee on a December morning was in,” I sneered, talking in a voice that was obnoxious enough that the cashier turned to look at me with a questioning look. I nodded straight at her and flashed her my neatly trimmed nails, nose scrunched up in distaste.

“Are you done being a five year old, if not then I’ll just say my goodbyes now.”

Turning to look at Levi, I frowned and ran a hand through my hair, lightly tugging on the strands as I realized that I might have been a teeny bit rude, “Yeah I’m done, sorry.”   
Suddenly I missed the warmth of his hand and I discreetly inched closer to him, letting out an annoyed huff when he took a step away.  
Giving me a look that said ‘this is your punishment,’ I slouched my shoulders and turned to find us a table, faintly hearing Levi apologize to the cashier; words like, ‘he’s not potty trained,’ reaching my ears. 

Plopping down in one of the mismatched couches that were scattered around the little café we were in, I crossed my legs, closing my eyes as a yawn overtook me. Opening my eyes, I noticed an old man giving me a weird look and I feigned an embarrassed expression, “Oh how unlady-like of me, forgive me, sir.” 

As the old man got up to leave, the couch dipped as Levi sat next to me, his hands occupied by our drinks, “Stop harassing people, you’d think you were an uncivilized prostitute.”

An offended puff of air escaped from between my lips and I grabbed my steaming cup of hot chocolate from him, “As if I’d ever, only trash would stoop as low just for money.” I snorted into my cup as I lifted it to take a sip but I paused before the hot liquid could burn my tongue, “Do you think Simba Jr. spit in my drink?”

“If you’re talking about our cashier, as I’m assuming you are, then yes. But I stopped her before she could, had to pay her extra too.”

I glanced over at him and leaned close to his face, breath brushing against his cheek, “How nice of you, love, didn’t take you for the type to go to extra lengths for me.”

His gaze shifted away from me and I blinked, satisfaction curling in my stomach at having made him bashful and I leaned back, lifting the drink to my lips, “It’s only cause it’s you.”

I coughed as warm liquid slid down the wrong pipe, my eyes wide as I struggled for air, “O-Oh?” 

He turned to me with mock concerned eyes, his lips pulled up in a devious grin, “Nah. Just the thought of her spit in your drink made me want to spew chunks.” With a satisfied air about him, he took a sip of his grande latte mocha thing, eyes glancing around the café.

“Oh so it’s going to be like that, I see. Good luck getting your dick sucked, cause I sure as hell ain’t doin’ it for you,” Scooting away from him, I leaned my elbow on the armrest, suddenly interested in the floor.

“You’re the cutest when you’re pouting.”

Choking once again on my drink, I gave him a suspicious look, wary of whether he was telling the truth, “Bullshit.”

“And when you’re cursing like a sailor,” he raised his eyebrows and lifted his drink towards me in a half toast, clearly mocking me. “Really gets the loins going,” he took a sip before placing his cup on the coffee table in front of us.

“I get that a lot,” I snarled back, face scrunched up as I fought to hold back the disappointed clench in my stomach as I crossed my arms, drink still in hand.

“I’m just joking. Shit, who knew you’d be so sensitive.”

“Obviously you, since we went through ten minutes of you poking my nipple just to watch me moan like a bitch in heat.”

“Touché.”

C=3

His warm breath brushed against my neck, his arms framing my scrunched up face as I tightened my grip on his back, nails digging in as a quiet whine escaped my smeared lips. Ten minutes in and we were already going at it, no hello, no long time no see. Just the prostitute and his patron.

It’s not like I minded or anything, it was actually what I was used too in my line of work. I guess I just thought that maybe… I don’t know. I can’t deny that I thought that he thought of me more than a slut for hire but I guess that was stupid of me. 

And wasn’t I the one practically begging for him to stop by again?

I’m such a needy, confusing whore. 

Afterwards we had ten minutes left until Reiner would knock on the door and Levi would have to scram, so we spent that time lying on our back, clammy hands clasped in between us as we stared up at the ceiling. “I really like this ceiling.”

“Me too.”

“It really speaks to me, the peeling paint and yellow stains especially.”

“Obviously, didn’t you read the article some art critic wrote about it?”

“Ah, how uncultured of me.”

A heavy silence hung over us and I took a deep breath, wondering how long I had until his gentle warmth left me and someone unfamiliar replaced him. But being the good little slut like I was, I sat up and leaned over to pull on my clothes (if you could call it that), back facing him.

“You have a scar.”

I tensed, teeth gritting as I sat still, hands knotted in front of me. He was referring to the scar on the left side of my back. The scar that brought up too many bad memories and so much emotions that I had neatly packed away behind a locked door that if I were to unlock said door everything would fall out. 

“Yeah.”

Reiner knocked and I straightened my hair, dragging my fingers underneath my eyes to rid my skin of smeared make-up. The bed creaked as he moved, no doubt buttoning up his jeans and pulling on his shirt. Warm lips pressed against the side of my head and I froze, hands clenching tighter as the sound of footsteps echoed throughout the room until the click of the door indicated his departure. 

My shoulders shook with the exertion of keep the warm liquid from spilling down my cheeks and I squeezed my eyes closed, for the first time in a long time feeling somewhat human.

I was so fucked.


	4. The (K)Night that I Loath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren makes a stupid mistake but Levi's there to help him like a knight in shining armor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things: Eren and Levi are both male (Sorry for any confusion!). 
> 
> Eren works at a brothel in fuck-ass somewhere (Setting isn't that important to me in this fic)
> 
> Although I said that there probably won't be any smut, there might be one scene towards the end of this fic (maybe, idk). But I'd like to stress that this fic isn't about the sex, it's about the relationship between someone who's less than relationship worthy and someone who cares about said person who's not worthy of a relationship. And I know that the majority of other fanfictions have lots of smut with a good plot line but I don't want people to like this fic just for the smut, you know? Anyways, I understand this is a weird situation to write without smut but I like imagining Levi and a prostitute Eren figuring their relationship out.
> 
> Anyways, thank you guys so much for your support! I really enjoy reading your comments! And sorry I took so long, got stuck in major writer's block but I'll have the next chapter out by Wednesday as a sorry and thank you to all the readers.
> 
> BTW, my tumblr is http://suckaknob.tumblr.com/ feel free to talk to me and suggest stuff!

“Jaeger.”

Turning in my heels at the sound of a familiar voice, I raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on my hip. The large group that had formed in front of me, drool dripping down their chins, seemed to cheer at the sight of my ass, now exposed because of the thong I wore. Spotting Reiner waving a hand for me to come offstage, I walked over to where he stood guard in case anyone decided to touch too much without paying. “What can I do for ya, Reiner? I’m in the middle of premiering.”

Every month, one of the dozen prostitutes who worked in this brothel stood and ‘modeled’ their bodies for potential customers as a way to bring in new faces and most importantly more money. I hated it, the only part I loved about being a prostitute was the control I had during sex and I had no control up on the stage. Sure I could wiggle my butt and they would drop to their knees at the sight, but I couldn’t control their pleasure or their reaction like I could while during sex. At least I got paid a couple hundred more by the end of the night, even if it meant standing for hours on end in high heels that weren’t meant for men’s feet while old geezers practically pawed at their boners just because I was wearing clothing that was revealing.

Premiering wasn’t stripping though, it was more of a stand there and seduce people until you have your quota of new patrons for that month. I wish it was stripping, then I could have actually danced around and ignored the stares that made me feel filthy. 

Reiner sighed and ran a hand through his short-cropped hair, his expression irritated, “I know and I’m sorry, but the boss wanted me to tell you that that cottontail of yours has been making business drop and he wants you to tell him to stop.” 

Blinking once, I tried to figure out who he was talking about, my mind drawing up a blank. “I have no idea who you’re talking about, I have about fifteen different cottontails; you’re going to have to be specific.”

“The short one.”

“Oh…” I trailed off, finding it hard to believe that Levi would do anything to piss off anyone, “What has he been doing?”

Reiner glanced around him, his voice low as he leaned closer to me, “I’m not supposed to tell you but he’s been glaring at anyone he sees sign up for you at the front desk and even once he confronted a new customer because he was saying some crude things about what he was going to do to you. I had to drag him to his car to get him to not lunge at the guy.”

Blinking at Reiner, I took in what he said as doubt started to creep into my mind; that sounded like something a jealous person would do, why would Levi act like he was jealous? He’s always calm and collected when I see him. A disbelieving laugh escaped my lips, “Are we talking about the same guy? He’s shorter than me by about a head and he has dark hair in an undercut, sometimes he talks, sometimes he doesn’t.”

When I crossed my arms over my chest, Reiner’s eyes narrowed in irritation, “Listen Eren, I’m telling you that you need to get your bitch under control otherwise the boss is going to write his name on the ‘no return’ list. I’m not joking, I’m only telling you this because I know how much you like him.”

Waving my hands in front of me, I felt my cheeks flush lightly, my eyes wide, “Huh? I don’t like him, he’s just a customer like everyone else, besides you know my manager won’t let me have a relationship while being employed here.”

A thick blond eyebrow raised, “Eren. I hear your moans through the door every damn day, I know the difference between fake and real pleasure and when he’s in there you’re way more vocal than with anyone else.”

My mouth snapped closed and I looked away, frowning to myself as I tried to recall the many times that Levi and I had fucked. I mean, he did always leave me breathless and begging for more but wasn’t that just because he liked when I did that? He was the paying customer so it’s my duty to follow through with all of his wants and needs, especially since he kept coming back. Shrugging, I threw the thought away and told Reiner that I would deliver the news to Levi. 

Once I was back on stage, my eyes stared blankly at the wall behind all of the drooling men, mouth in a fake smile as I kept hoping that the day would end and I could be back at home wearing sweatpants and drinking a beer. 

A part of me realized that the night was only halfway finished.

C=3

My hands shook as I cursed my stupidity, eyes squeezing closed.

Of course I would decide to take the shortcut home even though it involved cutting through an alleyway that had a habit for housing potheads. And of course, when I walked past there was a group of them, eyes half-lidded and glazed over as one of them lifted their hand and offered me a hit.

And of course it took all that I had to refuse.

By the time I opened my eyes and realized where I was, I found myself huddled against the alley wall of the other end, the potheads long gone. I couldn’t control my ragged breathing and shaking hands and the overwhelming sense of dread that clogged my throat made my eyes burn. A deep desire inside me wanted to chase those guys down and take up the offer for a hit; maybe even more. 

“Eren?”

My body stiffened on its own accord, afraid that someone might have found me here and would see me in the state I was in. I hoped that they would continue on, forget about my huddled form and me. I didn’t want to deal with strangers who knew my name.

“Eren…?”

But that voice. The back of my mind swore I knew that voice but through my muddled thoughts and fear that someone might take advantage of me, I buried my face farther between the space between my chest and my knees as I wrapped my arms tighter around my legs. 

A gentle hand touched the top of my head and instinct kicked in before I could take in the slight tingling and my lip pulled back into a snarl, my body assuming a defensive position. Dark eyes met mine, their usual stoicism gone and replaced with surprise.

“Eren, I’m not going to hurt you…”

He almost looked hurt, the way his eyebrows were drawn together, his eyebrow piercing following, mouth in a straight line as he reached a hand out toward me slowly, like I would bite him. Which I might had I felt even more threatened then I already felt. 

Slouching back against the wall as I realized it was just Levi, I swallowed thickly as I adverted my gaze to the ground, the trembling in my hands now coming to a stop as my body started to release its tension. The back of my throat still burned with the need to break my sobriety but I ignored it as I heard the sound of clothing being ruffled and I peeked up, eyes probably red from the exertion of keeping my tears at bay.

“F-Fancy meeting you here, Levi,” my lips twitched in a half smile and I stared at his crouched form, ignoring the worry in his eyes.  
“  
Do you need help?” I shook my head quickly, vision swimming as I placed my forehead in the palm of my hand to try and steady the dizziness. Okay maybe I needed help. I attempted to push against the wall to stand up but my vision swayed and I quickly plopped back down on the ground. 

Wordlessly, he grabbed my arms and lifted me up, surprisingly strong for someone of his stature. He wrapped an arm around my waist and I leaned against him, too tired to care if I was showing him weakness, and we started to walk out of the humid alley.

“Sorry, I just forgot to keep h-hydrated,” a nervous laugh bubbled forth from my lips, eyes squeezing shut as the sound of my lie made the air around us stale. It seemed that I couldn’t lie very well when I was weak. It disgusted me.

A snort that sounded like disbelief came from him and I winced as the sound made gave my head a painful throb. I didn’t want to deal with any of this. I just wanted to go home and curl up in my bed and wait this out until morning before I went back to work to break in my new customers.

Suddenly we stopped and I looked up, wondering where we were as the sight of parked cars came into view and Levi pulled a set of jingling keys from his pocket, the car next to us lighting up as he unlocked it. 

“Levi, I don’t want to trouble you.” Did my voice sound tired? Shit, I think it sounded tired.

“Shut up, you can’t walk to your apartment like this, especially in the dark.”

My lips clamped together, teeth grinding as I slid into the passenger seat, watching him cautiously as he held the door open for me. He closed it and walked around to his door, he started the car with a flick of his wrist, his eyes looking out the back window as he backed out. 

My eyelids started to droop as the lull of the car made a yawn stretch my mouth open. I knew my apartment wasn’t far away and I tried to tell myself that I could fall asleep once I was in my own bed but I couldn’t stop myself as I leaned against the cool window, lights passing by as Levi drove, putting me to sleep.

C=3

Strong arms cradled me to a warm chest and I felt the world dip, my eyelids fighting to stay open. In my half-asleep state, I only noticed a two thing:

The musky scent of Levi.

And my apartment.

That was all I took in before sleep won the battle and my eyes closed once again.

C=3

“Hey, wake up.”

A groan left my lips and I lifted my arms above my head, stretching as sleep lingered as I awoke. A crooked grin spread across my lips and I looked over at Levi’s face looming over mine, still not coherent enough to remember what was happening.

“Hey babe.”

Raising an eyebrow, he grabbed my shoulder gently and lifted me up so that I was sitting up against the wall my bed sat against, his other hand holding a couple of pain relievers and a cup of water, “Take this and then go back to sleep.”

“Hmm.” Silently obeying, I gulped the pills down and handed the cup to his outstretched hand, my eyes already starting to shut as I wiggled down into a comfortable position. 

“Hey…” I grabbed onto his hand loosely as he turned to leave, “Stay with me, please. I… don’t want to be alone.” 

Time seemed to skip and the next time I cracked my eyes open, Levi’s sleeping face was facing me, his lips parted as soft snores passed his lips, quiet light filtering from the window. One of his arms was wrapped around my waist and I snuggled against his chest, letting sleep pull me back to sleep.

C=3

“Wanna tell me what’s up, you didn’t seem dehydrated to me.”

“No.”

“I carried you from my car to your bed, took care of you, and even made you breakfast.”

“I didn’t ask you for any of that.”

“You asked me to stay and I did.”

“Fine. Just- Just give me a moment.”

We sat on the only couch I owned, one cushion space in between us as I folded my legs underneath me, trying to get comfortable. Running a hand through my shoulder-length hair, I grabbed a nearby headband and put it on so it would keep my bangs from being in my face, telling myself that I needed a haircut so that people wouldn’t mistake me for a girl. Sighing loudly, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, feeling his stare on me, waiting. 

“It’s stupid and I don’t like thinking about it. But I got into hardcore drugs for a few years and I OD’ed when I was twenty, I was really dehydrated on top of that. I went to rehab, blah blah blah, and now I’ve been fighting with myself ever since. And then last night I just wanted to get home because I had a tough night at work, so I took the short route and there were kids smoking pot and they offered and I almost accepted it, except the big debt that’s been hanging over my head for the past year slapped me in the face and told me that I couldn’t afford to get addicted. I freaked out and that’s when you found me. There. Done.”

He listened without wavering eyes and nodded at the end, his face neutral as I sighed loudly, sinking into the cushion as shame flooded through me. Here comes the part where he stops talking to me and calls me a stupid whore. It’s not like I wasn’t used to it.

For some reason that thought hurt. A lot.

“Are you feeling better?”

My eyes snapped to his and I opened to my mouth to reply, taken off guard, “Uh, yeah. Yeah. It usually takes me a night to calm down.” Silence overcame us and I shifted awkwardly, unused to the atmosphere. 

“Good.”

After a few minutes of us sitting in silence, a thought came to mind and I sat up straight, eyes narrowing as I glared at him, “I have a bone to pick with you.”

He stared at me, eyes betraying no emotion.

“My manager informed me that you’ve taken to glaring at my customers and you even confronted fresh meat, which by the way is how I make my money since regulars get discounts the more they come. I need the money to survive and if you scare off all of my customers, then I’ll be forced to live on the street. So stop that.”

His lips turned down at that and he looked away towards the ground, jaw clenched as though he was angry. After a moment of silence, he nodded and stubbornly refused to look at me, his arms crossed in front of him like a child. 

“How old are you, twelve?”

“Two years older than you.”

“What?! You’re twenty four? Shit, I thought you were younger than me.”

“Nope.”

Slightly surprised that he was that old, I got up from the couch and waved for him to follow me, “Listen, I’ve got to work tonight and I need to catch a few more hours of sleep before my shift. I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but I’m going to have to kick you out now.”

He followed me to the door and when I opened it, he walked past me and stopped to turn around. Feeling like a huge dick, I rubbed the back of my neck as I struggled to find the right words, “Listen, thank you for… not leaving me,” placing a hand on the side of his head, I leaned down to peck his cheek, his skin warm against mine. 

“Anyways, I’ll see you later,” pulling away, I closed the door on him, my back leaning against the door as I fought to control my pounding heartbeat. Fuck. Why did I do that, just because he was like a knight in shining armor last night? Or maybe it was because he made amazing pancakes?

I bit my lip, the image of Levi’s thin lips pulled up at the corners making my heart pound even harder. Then I realized that last night was the first time I slept through one of my moments and it had something to do with the warmth of his presence and his gentle hands.

A blush settled nicely on my cheeks and I realized that I was so fucked.


	5. Dangerous Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi keep seeing each other, it's almost like they're dating... Too bad Eren's a piece of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOw okay sorry. Yeah don't look at me. I got caught up in writing Catfish Got Your Tongue? and I feel awful for not updating on Wednesday like I said I would.Wahh
> 
> This chapter pretty much sucks, it's kind of a filler(whoops) but the next chapter will be pretty exciting! 
> 
> Again, thanks for all the nice comments and the kudos! I really enjoy reading your opinions and stuff :) Oh and I guess(?) I could track fic: Cottontails on tumblr???? I don't know why I woulldddd???? but if you want to ask me a question, my Tumblr is on the last chapter.
> 
> Warning: Lots of self-hate and mention of physical abuse

A hum of agreement came from the back of my throat, fingers flicking ashes from my lit cigarette that I held in between my fingers. The family sitting at the table next to us frowned, the parents glaring at me blatantly and a smirk pulled at my lips, eyebrows wiggling mockingly.

“-Ren?”

“Huh?” My attention was dragged from the family’s surprised expressions and I focused in on Levi sitting across from me. Sheepishly looking away from his annoyed stare, I rubbed the back of my head with my free hand, “Sorry, got distracted. Continue.”

He rolled his eyes, thin lips parting as he continued to talk about something on the news or whatever. All I knew was that I was more interested in the way his mouth seemed to barely move as he spoke, like he had trained himself to put as little energy into talking as possible. Breathing in through the filter of my cigarette, I mulled over the possibility that he probably had better lips than my own thick ones, in a certain way. And then I imagined those lips against my skin, his wet tongue poking out to slide against my-

“If you don’t stop undressing my lips with your eyes like a fucking teenager, I’ll leave.”

Leaving would require him taking his car and me being stranded at the small café on the outskirts of town we were at when I lived towards the middle. Which means, I’d have to rush back to my apartment to get ready for work.

My eyes snapped up to his and I grinned, putting my cigarette out in the ashtray on our table as I leaned forward to take a sip from the cup of hot chocolate in front of me, trying to dispel the bite of winter. All thoughts of his lips and anything else, now forgotten. “Aw, but I’d miss you so much, who’s going to kiss me goodnight when I have bad dreams?”

He gave me an unamused stare and I shifted in my seat to a more comfortable position, wrapping my coat tighter around me, “Sorry we’re sitting outside,” I glanced at his own cigarette, “I’m sure you understand.”

He shrugged and rubbed his hand down his thigh to try and make it warmer, face passive.

“Do you mind if I ask why you have so many piercings?”

“They seemed like a good idea when I was younger, now I’m too attached to them to take them out.”

I lifted my shoulders in a shrug and ran the pad of my finger around the edge of the table, “I’m glad, I like your piercings.” He gave me a weird look and an image of his lips pulled up at the corners flashed through my mind, reminding me of the last time I had seen him. When I had kissed his cheek. Like a love-struck teenage girl.

Fuck.

My cheeks started to heat up just thinking about it and I waved it off as a product of the cold wind that blew around us. Still giving me a weird look, I pulled my lips up into a smirk, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the red tint to my cheeks, “What? Guys with piercings are hot. Makes me want to tame their wild side.”

At my wink, he rolled his eyes, mouth opening to reply, “That would have been sexy had it not come from your mouth.”

“Well fuck you too, shortstop.” 

After he gave me a withering look, we sat in silence as our waitress came and refilled our drinks. I lifted my foot and rubbed it against his calf, eliciting an annoyed glare from him and I giggled at his cute expression. Scoffing, he kicked at my leg and looked off to the side, lips pursed.

He parted his lips and my stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch as a bad feeling overcame me, “Christmas is in two weeks.”

Dread filled my stomach and I suddenly regretted ever coming out to get lunch with him in the first place. If he was going to ask me what I thought he was going to ask me, then I don’t know what I would do. 

We really had a problem when questions were asked, didn’t we?

“Yeah, so? I’m working Christmas Eve, seems a lot of people other than me are lonely and want to spend their money on a little sexual comfort rather than spend it on their family. Not that I have anyone to spend it with anyways,” I shrugged, taking in his small frown out of the corner of my eyes. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, but I wanted to douse the fire before it was lit. 

“Oh.”

“Yep,” I crossed my arms behind my head and leaned back, my eyes closing, “But that’s how it’s been for years, not that I mind. It’s nice not having to worry about money for gifts, especially since I don’t have any.”

“Huh.”

“Mhm…”

The air around us shifted and a sick part of me wished that he would stop talking to me, would forget everything that had happened between us. A part of me wished he would give up so that I could go back to being alone and not be in danger of feeling emotions I hadn’t felt since high school.

I just wanted my life to go back to how it used to be.

C=3

Nibbling on my bottom lip, I adjusted the scarf around my neck, body shivering from the cold temperature outside and the fact that I had to turn off my heat to save money. Flipping through the channels while the football game I was watching was on a commercial break, a sigh left my lips, dark bags under my eyes indicating the amount of sleep I had gotten the previous night and I leaned my head against the back of the couch.

“Fuck.”

Some bastard thought it would have been funny to strangle me during rough intercourse. If I do say so myself, I put up a good fight in the five minutes it took Reiner to bust the door open and kick the horny sucker out on his ugly ass. Of course, the bruised hand prints on my neck were way worse than his black eye and scratched cheek, but at least it’s something. 

Better than any other prostitute could have done.

Wincing as the bruises on my neck were tweaked, I sat up and leaned my elbows against my knees as the sound of my fucked up doorbell rang throughout my apartment ten times louder than it’s supposed too. Groaning in agitation, I stood up and approached the door, having a bad feeling that it was the creepy old guy who liked to cop a feel when I leave my apartment. It wouldn’t be the first time he decided to bother me.

Looking through the eyehole, I froze and mechanically opened the door, eyes narrowed in confusion at the shorter male’s presence. Blinking away the confusion, I leaned against the doorjamb, hands in the pockets of my sweats, “Sorry, I don’t take walk-ins, you’re going to have to set up an appointment with the secretary if you wanna bang in my private residence,” I lifted my chin in the direction of the perv that I had thought was at my door but he was actually in his usual spot next to the apartment entrance, staring at me.

At having been caught, the old man winked at me and licked his wrinkled lips, causing Levi’s lip to curl in disgust. An amused grin found its way onto my face and I shifted to the side so that he could enter my apartment, his arm brushing against my chest as he passed.

Our little meeting at the café was ended shortly after he had brought up Christmas. And it was almost awkward to see him again considering we didn’t speak at all on the car ride back to my apartment or even when he had dropped me off. I think he was mad that I had said all of that stuff. Unfortunately for him, I didn’t really care. I had my life to worry about and he had his. End of story.

Following Levi, I walked past him as he looked around at the mess that was my apartment and plopped down on the couch, arms spread against the back of the couch and leg crossed over the other. My attention captured by the football game that was airing on the TV as the opposing team scored a first down. I cursed under my breath before turning to him, eyebrow raised in question.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, monsieur?”

Rolling his eyes, he sat next to me, close enough that the back of his head touched my arm (the shaved part of his head felt weird against my arm, but at least he was warm) and he sighed, eyes closing as he settled against the back of the couch. “I was bored.”

“Huh. So you just decided to stop by, interrupting my football time in the process, and have a little chatsie? How kind of you, next time you should bring a casserole so that we can gossip about the girl’s at work.”  
He ignored my sarcasm and hugged his arms around himself; only then did I realize that he was wearing a thin black jacket and a grey scarf to protect himself from the weather. Sighing, I got up and retrieved a hoodie that I had lying around, “Here. Sorry about the igloo I live in, but I’m tight on money right now and I’d rather be watching football then be warm. It might be really big on you, since it swallows me up. By the way, it’s the middle of December, wear more layers.”

His lips lifted a little at the corner in a silent thank you (at least that’s how I took it), and he pulled it over his head, his small frame disappearing inside of the dark green article of clothing. Grinning despite myself, I turned away to hide it and rubbed my face with my hand, cursing myself for finding him cute. Humming, I turned my attention to the TV, ignoring the gassy feeling in my chest.

“I went to your place of work last night.” 

Adjusting my scarf, I buried my nose in the soft fabric as I tried to hide my frown as jealousy pooled deep in my stomach. I lifted my arms from the couch and crossed them in front of me. Ignoring the look he gave me, like I had offended him for moving, I stared straight ahead as I waited for him to continue.

For some reason it rubbed me the wrong way that he was there when I wasn’t working. 

It’s probably the gas.

“The guy that usually guards your door told me that you were injured and your boss told you that you couldn’t work until the injury healed.”

Blinking, my face dropped into a scowl, voice hard, “Don’t fucking remind me.” A shiver passed through me, both from the cold and from the memory of the feeling of that guy’s hands wringing my neck. “A newbie got clingy and now I’m being punished for it because I didn’t let him kill me. In the end he got a refund. So now I’m sitting here freezing my ass off in hopes that the couple hundred dollars I won’t get from the week or so it’ll take to heal won’t cause me to be kicked out. I’m just glad my voice is back to normal.”

I tugged at the scarf around my neck, eyebrows scrunched together in irritation at having been reminded that I was suspended from my job. My shit manager didn’t even care that I was hurt, all he cared about was how he lost profit and a potential customer. Sure, my line of work doesn’t have the best reputation but some semblance of an ‘are you okay?’ would have been nice.

Caught up in my thoughts, I felt cool hands tug my scarf to the side and I looked over at Levi, realizing that he was leaning towards me with his eyes concentrated on my neck. I swallowed and bit my lip as his eyes narrowed at the sight of the dark bruises in the shape of hands, his fingers brushing over the dark skin.

“It’s not that big of a deal, I mean, bruises fade.” my breath hitched as goose bumps traveled down the skin of my neck under his touch, “Y-Your hands are freezing, you understand that, right?”

Something of a smirk pulled at his lips and I held my breath as he leaned down and pressed his lips against the blemishes. My body was frozen as he continued to kiss along my neck, his lips like feathers against my skin. My throat clogged up and for a moment I forgot to breathe as the skin burned under his gentle kisses, my own lips parted as I sat tensely.

When he leaned away from me, I blinked and took in a shaky breath, watching as he sat back with his hands in his lap, eyes on me to gauge my reaction. My hands started to shake and I fought to keep my breathing level as I felt my eyes start to burn. 

There he went again, treating me like I wasn’t some cheap slut who deserved to be choked to death while taking it up the ass. Like I wasn’t an angry bastard who pushed people away because I had too many ‘issues’ that I took it out on people.

Fuck.

Biting down on my trembling lip, I got up silently, the feeling of his eyes watching my retreating form as I made my way towards the kitchen, burning into my back. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Opening one of the cabinets that housed the hot chocolate I had bought on a whim a few weeks ago, I hid my face behind the door since he could see into the kitchen from the couch and I took a deep, faltering breath.  
It had been a long time since I had felt the care and comfort of another person’s touch. I was so used to just being a sack of meat that was only there for someone else’s pleasure and comfort, that actually having that feeling returned was like walking straight into a brick wall. 

Taking a deep breath to try and make my voice even, I addressed Levi as I searched for the box of hot chocolate in hopes that he would forget (if he even saw) the way I was acting. “Do you want hot chocolate to warm your cold heart, I know you must be halfway to being a snowman by now.”

“Sure,” his voice came from right behind me, his breath floating against a part of my neck that was exposed and I jumped, eyes wide in surprise as I turned around slowly, hand over my heart.

“Do you have to pop up out of nowhere and scare me?” 

He stared at me blankly before lifting his hand and bringing it to my face, causing me to flinch. Cautious as to why he wanted to touch me and worried that he would see me in my vulnerable state, I took a step backward. Dropping his hand back to his side with a frown, I lifted my fingers to my cheek, surprised to find wetness there that definitely hadn’t been there a couple of seconds ago. 

Ignoring the questioning glint in dark eyes, I turned back around and reached into the cabinet to retrieve the box of hot chocolate power. Taking a few steps back, I bumped into Levi and I ignored him, not looking back at him as I got two mugs from another cabinet. Placing them on the table, I spread my hands against the counter to take deep breaths, head dropped forward as I felt Levi’s hand lightly touching my back, the pads of his fingers rubbing soothing circles that made me skin tingle through the jacket I wore. 

A fake laugh escaped my lips in a gurgle and I sniffed quietly to myself, wiping my nose of snot as I ignored the man behind me. I moved to the sink to fill the cups with water and swallowed hard, turning the faucet off before placing the mugs on the counter again. I got to work on ripping the packages open. 

“Eren.” 

I paused and forced a smile on my face, voice sugar sweet, “Listen, you don’t have to worry about it, I got the hot chocolate handled and I don’t need your help. You’re actually just taking up space in my kitchen,” I let loose another laugh, on the brink of sounding hysterical. 

I turned around to see what he was doing, but he still stood there, his muscular form swallowed by my hoodie as he stared at me with what looked like concern in his eyes.

He took a step forward and I stilled, holding my breath as he touched my cheek, this time I managed to not flinch away even though I really wanted to. The pads of his fingers brushed against my cheeks and I looked away, embarrassed at having shed tears just because he kissed my neck.

“Why are you upset?”

My eyebrows furrowed and I looked above him, avoiding his eyes as he held my face in between his hands, trying to get me to look at him. Annoyed, I glared at him, tears now slipping down my cheeks as a scoff escaped my lips, “Oh I don’t know. Maybe because you’re just a cottontail and you showed up at my house unannounced. Or maybe because you’re not supposed to care about me, you’re not even supposed to look at me with anything other than lust because I’m a stupid ass prostitute who fucked his life up and was screwed over by the people he loved most. Or, or maybe because I don’t deserve your concern or your gentleness!” Heaving a breath, I pushed his chest and he took a step back, eyes still staring at me.

“For fuck’s sake, I don’t even understand why you’re here or why you keep showing up. I’m just really confused and I’m used to being alone but here you are with your stupid gentle touches like I’m human. Well stop that because I’m far from it, I’m trash that’s meant to be left on the side of the road because I haven’t earned my right to be recycled,” I finished in a harsh whisper, tears now flowing freely as I turned back around to finish making our drinks.

He was silent as I put the cup full of water into the microwave and I wondered if he had left, maybe he finally realized that I wasn’t worth the time, that everything I said was all an act and a show that I put on for people to like me. When it came down to it, I don’t know how to have a normal conversation with someone without using foul language or talking about myself. I wasn’t normal so why would anyone want to like me?

My fingers started to tremble as my anxieties clouded my mind. Clenching my hands to try and stop the trembling, calloused hands reached for one of my hands and long fingers pried my trembling digits from their fist. Wordlessly watching him from the corner of my eyes, his fingers started to gently massage my hand and I noticed his clenched jaw and hard, concentrated eyes. My cheeks felt soaked and I cursed myself for being weak in front of him, telling myself that he must find me weird and probably wouldn’t ever talk to me again.

I had to convince myself; as he massaged my hand, that he leaving me would be good for the both of us. That everything would go back to normal and I could continue working as a prostitute and he could leave me alone to my life. 

I didn’t need him.

“You’re not worthless.”

My mouth opened in surprise and I lifted my eyes to meet his sincere ones, “I’m not good with words but I am good with reading people and understanding them. That’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. You might have a job that is less than ideal but I know that there was a reason you chose this lifestyle. I’m not going to judge you for your decisions. 

“I’m here because I’m curious about you, you’re the first person too peak my interest in a long time. I’m no good either, so don’t go assuming that you’re the only lowlife around here. I don’t know much, but I do know that I’m more interested in this Eren,” he waved his hand at my sweatpants and messy haired self, “Than the one who lies underneath me with a face like the one I make when I really want to shit but can’t. So stop saying shit like that because you’re worth more to me than trash.”

Overwhelmed with the feeling of surprise, I resorted to teasing to try and break the tense atmosphere. A small smile spread my lips, my voice small, “That sounds like a love confession, Levi. Careful, that’s dangerous territory.”

Seeing that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, he nodded and a small grin formed on his lips, “Yeah. Too bad I’m so wild.”

“Yeah. Too bad.”

Feeling exhausted, I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen, hot chocolate forgotten, and I pushed him onto the couch so that he was on his back, staring up at me with curious eyes. I slid on top of him and wrapped my arms around his chest, eyes slipping shut as I nestled my nose into the crook of his neck, our legs tangled together. 

“Eren?”

“Shut up, you said you were bored, well napping is always a cure for boredom. So sleep. It’s not every day that you get me to be on top, so enjoy it.”

His chest shook against mine in silent laughter and I held him tighter, the soft sound of his breathing and the TV pushing me to sleep.

I didn’t know what to think about what he said. I didn’t even want to begin to think about what might have been hidden behind his words, but I knew that he meant them.

And that scared me more than I could have ever imagined.


	6. Shit, This is Weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Levi always go to Eren's? Even he doesn't know. [Surprise Levi POV for Christmas and New Year's.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me is all I can say. Happy holidays!  
> Tumblr: http://suckaknob.tumblr.com/

Christmas passed and so did my birthday.

  
If I had to describe my family and their love for having a big family dinner with lots of food and too much alcohol, then it would be annoying and completely boring without Eren.

My family gave me a couple of shirts and a movie: my mother’s cheeks had been flushed from all the whiskey she had drunken and her breath reeked of the nauseating drink as she leaned close to me to hand me the present. “Levi, you need to bring that boy over one day, okay? He sounds so amusing…”

  
I had intended to invite Eren over for Christmas Eve dinner but he seemed so adamant on not celebrating the holiday that I had just dropped it. My mother wasn’t too happy about it since I seemed to be acting differently since I had met him. But it wasn’t like he had any responsibility towards me anyway.

  
New Years was fast approaching and so did my hatred for the weather. Late December wasn’t as cold as January or February but it was still enough for me to be shivering all of the time and because of my small stature, it was hard for me to keep warm. My mother always complained about how I always robbed them of their blanket supply when I visited, saying that I was a grown man now and should buy my own blankets.

  
What she didn’t know was that when I curled up with the blankets on my couch, the smell of home made my loneliness disappear for a while and it was almost like I wasn’t sitting inside my small apartment by myself, watching reruns of a show I didn’t like.

  
Maybe that’s why I ventured into a brothel in the middle of the night with too much cash in my pocket and a thirst for company a few months ago.

  
And maybe that’s why I felt a connection the first time I had laid eyes on Eren, his eyes had looked so empty, so lost as he tried to seduce me. He wasn’t my usual type, if I was being honest then I’d say he was the only decent looking prostitute in the whole brothel that was under a hundred bucks.

  
What drew me to stay connected to him was the fact that he was so blunt and passively aggressive towards everything around him that he almost reminded me of myself when I was younger and sitting in an orphanage. But what differed between him and I was that he seemed to have a passion to live in the world that he was given, to fight all of his demons and to flip his hair at anyone who tried to make him unhappy.

  
He inspired me.

  
The day before New Year’s Eve was the first I’d seen of Eren since he had kicked me out once we woke up from our ‘little’ nap that had turned into a five hour drool fest.

“Have a nice Christmas?”

  
After he had chided me for showing up at his doorstep unannounced, we both sat on his couch, the air around us strained and a little bit awkward, much to my displeasure.

“Yeah.”

  
Today he was dressed in loose pajama bottoms and the oversized sweater that he had let me borrow last time. His hair was pulled back with a folded up black bandana, his bangs kept out of his eyes. He wasn’t wearing a scarf and his neck looked bruise free, relief flooded me that he was feeling better. Too many hours were spent awake at night worrying about his well-being. Warmth enveloped me as I remember that I had kissed that skin and I tried to brush off my embarrassment at having done such a thing.

  
If there was one thing I noticed about Eren, it was that he always seemed to be slouched and relaxed away from work, he seemed to make it his duty to look like a slob. But once I stepped foot into his room at the brothel, his body screamed tense and uncomfortable and he’s always put together, excluding his swollen lips and red cheeks. The other thing I noticed was how small his body was despite his height; which is why I always make sure to buy him food when we went out.

  
There was a lot that I noticed about Eren.

 

“Why are you here?”

  
I don’t know why I always found myself at his door when my intention was to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things, it was sort of annoying. It made me feel like I was codependent on Eren’s presence and there was no way that that was true.

  
My shoulders lifted in a shrug and I chose to ignore his question because I didn’t know entirely what my answer was. “Are you working tomorrow?”

  
When I glanced over at him, his brows were furrowed and his head was tilted back as he stared blankly up at the ceiling like the answer was printed up there for him.  
I wondered why it was such a hard question for him to answer.

  
“No, unfortunately. I want too but my clients have been telling my manager that I fall asleep right after we are done and he won’t let me work tonight or tomorrow, says he ‘cares about my well-being and wants me to get lots of rest.’ Which is bullshit, he just doesn’t want to look bad for my clients.”

  
I also noticed that he talk a lot and likes to fill up unnecessary silences.

  
“Hm…” And idea formed in my mind and I turned to face Eren, giving him a hard stare that I knew he would squirm at, just for the heck of it. After he sat squirming in his seat for a couple of moments, I opened my mouth and raised an eyebrow, “How about we watch the fireworks tomorrow night?”

  
Eren’s eyes widened and I felt stupid for a second before I told myself that this was Eren and he seemed to hate holidays, not necessarily me. A snort escaped him and he shook his head, a small grin pulling his lips up.

  
“Sure, whatever. Just bring booze, otherwise I’ll get bored.”

  
My lips twitched and I faced forward once again, satisfaction curling in my stomach as I relaxed against the back of the couch and tried to ignore the fact that he would get bored without booze. I could feel Eren’s questioning glance on me but I ignored him and instead focused on the TV that was quietly playing in front of us.

  
He’s just have to wait and see what he had gotten into tomorrow night.

 

  
C=3

  
“What the hell, Levi? Why can’t you be normal for one damn moment?”

  
Eren huffed and crossed his arms, his heavy jacket crinkling and I snorted in amusement, checking to make sure his blindfold was still on and covering his eyes.

“Is this some kink of yours or something? If you wanted me blindfolded, then you should have just said something, damn.”

  
Rolling my eyes, I focused on the dirt road I was driving on, ignoring his whining.

 

“Where are we going? Is this the part where you take me to an abandoned warehouse and keep me for yourself? Because you should have just told me; that sounds hot as hell.”

  
If I had known he was going to be even more of a blabber mouth with a blind fold on, then I wouldn’t have done any of this.

  
“Shut up, we’re here.”

  
I opened my door before he could unbuckle his seatbelt and I walked around to hold his door open, the blindfold still covering his eyes and the beanie he wore making his hair stick to his forehead and fall into his eyes. “It smells like… pine needles.”

  
My lips tugged up at the corners and I grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the blanket that I had placed on the ground when I was there earlier. “Sit.”

  
Once we were seated, I checked the time on my phone and noted the time, my cheek twitching at having been a few minutes late due to Eren’s refusal to put the blind fold on back at the apartment.

  
Three minutes till midnight.

  
I reached behind Eren, my body situated in front of his, and I untied the knot that held the poorly folded bandana. His eyes met mine as he blinked away the confusion of seeing again. “Sorry about this, I just thought you deserved something nice.”

  
His cheeks were flushed a pretty shade of pink, maybe from the cold or maybe from my proximity. And he seemed to be staring at me and not his surroundings as I had thought he would be doing by now.

  
His lips parted and I moved away to sit next to him, letting him take in the forest behind us and the hill we sat on. It wasn’t nerves that made my stomach churn, it was the fear of rejection of this whole ordeal that made me avoid looking at him.

  
I knew this was cheesy and stupid. He just seemed so pent up and stressed that I felt that he deserved to enjoy something, even if it was being spent with me. I leaned back on my elbows and closed my eyes as the night breeze washed over me, trying to let the cool air calm me down.

  
It was nearing the point of too cold to be outside for more than making a quick run to get the mail or dashing to the car just to turn on the heat but it was tolerable and with enough layers it was warm enough that even I wasn’t complaining.

  
“Levi-“

  
My eyes popped open as bright light filled the night sky, colors filling the sky as a loud boom resounded through the valley beneath us. Cheers carried to us as we stared up at the fireworks being released into the sky and Eren stopped talking as the stars were replaced with bright fireworks.

  
I glanced at Eren out of the corner of my eye only to find him staring at me with a weird expression and I quickly looked away. Shit. This was weird. I shouldn’t have done this. I overstepped my boundaries and crossed into creepy guy who takes the guy who isn’t his boyfriend on a really lame date.

  
Would he believe me if I told him I just wanted him to be happy, even for a little while?

  
I swallowed and released a breath, my voice calm despite my worried thoughts, “If you keep staring at me, all this work would have been useless.”

  
His head twisted forward like he was ashamed of being caught and I smirked, my attention focusing back on the fireworks that were starting to explode faster and faster. As the fireworks became deafening, I felt my hand being grabbed in a cold one, skinny fingers intertwining between mine.

  
I knew that if I looked over at Eren in question, he would drop my hand and pretend that nothing happened so instead I gave his hand a slight squeeze, my eyes still on the now-fading fireworks. We remained in silence even as the show stopped and I wondered if Eren was okay.

  
Chancing a look at him, I opened my mouth to say something but he crawled on top of me and leaned close to my face, halting any words that wanted to leave my throat, “Do you understand what you’ve done tonight?”

  
Blinking in confusion, I shook my head, too caught up in the way his hair framed his face and his eyes seemed to blaze like a fire, a different shade of green that I’ve never seen before in his eyes.

  
He closed his eyes and dropped his head a little in defeat, his shoulders hunching forward as his body started to shake. Alarmed, I placed my hands on his hips and gave a curious squeeze, wondering why he was crying.

  
All of a sudden, he threw his head back and let out a loud laugh that echoed around us. My breath caught in my throat at how the moonlight caught his features and made him look like something from a dream and I fought to not lose myself in his beauty but instead focus on why he was laughing like a maniac. He took a deep breath as he continued to laugh, his eyes squeezing closed and his hands hugging his stomach like he was trying to hold himself together.

  
My eyes narrowed in concern for his sanity and I wondered if he had truly lost his shit but he abruptly stopped laughing, his head still tilted back as he took deep, even breaths. The sound of his breathing was all that broke the silence and for a few minutes we sat like that, him straddling me and me staring up at him in concern. I was wary of whether he was going to attack me like a wolf just because I brought a blanket to lay on the ground and watch stupid lights blow up in the sky.

“Levi… I’m not healthy.”

  
My eyebrows scrunched together as I fought to understand what he was saying, “What do you mean?”

  
“I… I’m a prostitute with an addiction problem and a personality dysfunction to boot. I’m not a housewife who’ll make you dinners or rub your shoulders when you get home from a hard day of work. I can’t think clearly when I’m angry and I hate coddling anyone.” He looked down at my speechless face, his eyes empty and his mouth in a hard line.

“I’m not worth your care, so please stop caring and doing nice things for me.”

  
Swallowing hard, I sat up and grabbed his face in between my hands, my patience for his self-degrading attitude diminished. It was hard to not shake in anger as I glared at him, my expression dark, I knew I shouldn’t be angry with him since he was stuck in this whirlpool of self-hatred, but I was so tired of him beating himself down. “Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what to do? If I want to give you nice things and take you out to nice places then I’ll do it no matter what anyone thinks, including you. I don’t know why you think of yourself in such a way, do you really think I would want any of those things when I can have just you?

  
“Why do you think so lowly of yourself? And why do you think I would settle for less when I like being with you just as much as having a ‘house wife’? So shut up and just enjoy this moment and stop worrying about what I think, if I have a problem I’ll tell you. Damn. You can’t let me or yourself enjoy one thing, can you?  
“Didn’t I tell you? You’re not worthless.”

  
He seemed to be fighting back tears as liquid welled up at the corner of his eyes, his lips trembling as he placed his hands on my shoulders, his grip tight. I stroked his cheeks and shook my head, a small smile gracing my lips as I leaned forward to place our foreheads together, my anger dissipating, “Eren, I’m a grown man. If I didn’t want a snot-nose brat who talked back and thought converse were okay to wear 24/7, then I wouldn’t have found myself at your doorstep every time I leave my damn house.”

  
He bit his lip and closed his eyes as he tried to control his breathing through his nose, he seemed to be berating himself inwardly and trying to collect himself.

  
My eyes took in his flushed face and concentrated expression. It was then that I realized the reason why I always found myself at his door and why I kept going back to the brothel even though it’s disgusting; he was always right in front of me.

  
“Eren…”

  
He cracked his eyes open and stared at me, his eyes looking conflicted even as the brightness in them returned slowly. My fingers continued to soothingly brush his cheeks and I pulled his face closer to mine to place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. He released a loud breath and I pulled away from him to get a good look at him, my voice low.

“I have the booze in my car like you asked. Do you want me to get it?”

  
He paused and studied my chin, his lips twisted as he thought of an answer, “No… I think I want this to be my first New Year’s Eve where I’m not wasted,” he slid down and placed his chin on my chest as I leaned back on my hands, his eyes locked on mine, “Besides, I think I’m drunk enough just on your presence.”

  
“Now you know how I feel.”


	7. The End is Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thousand breaths doesn't amount to the feeling of waking up with strong arms around you.

Sensation overruled doubts.

                When I placed my lips against his, my thoughts weren’t jumbled, they were clear. I had no apprehensions toward the need to feel him -really feel him- with me. For the first time I wanted to become one with a person not for money, but because my heart spoke a thousand more words than I ever could.

                Doubt was forgotten. Even as his hands traveled lower, eyes half-mast and blazing with a passion I wasn’t as scared to face as I was a few days ago, a sense of _rightness_ washed over me. Instinct kicked in as his hands teased the front of my pants, my back arching into his powerful body as I felt his own being twitch in response. The sounds that escaped my mouth weren’t forced for once as I felt his lips at my neck, hand flexing in between us as I leaned my forehead against his shoulder.

                The moon shone through the window of my apartment, the soft light painting gentle strokes of grey to match his eyes. My vision blurred as pleasure overrode all other senses. I forgot about my qualms, their familiar presence leaving an emptiness in my mind where they used to inhabit. His lips met mine again and my hands rubbed circles into his back, urging him closer as heat bloomed in the pit of my stomach, heart racing.

                Anticipation; a sensation I hadn’t felt since before my life became about tight clothes and the grunts of pleasure of clients above me. It swirled in my belly, making my toes curl and my hands scratch at his newly bared skin. I didn’t remember how his shirt had disappeared or how my pants seemed to be gone too but that was alright with me, my senses were too filled with Levi for me to care.

                The soft moans that left my lips made a dazzling smile light up the man whose eyes resembled the moon’s, his fingers slipping underneath the elastic of my boxers, cold fingers making me flinch. I was too caught up in the feeling of Levi. Levi.

_Levi._

I didn’t feel the pressure of a performance. My body was acting naturally and by the way Levi’s lips never dropped from a grin, it made me think that Levi was pleased more than if I’d be the one slipping off my boxers and grabbing a hold of my own swelling arousal. My hands found his shoulders and I arched my back, quiet moans slipping past my swollen lips as he pumped me gently, his breath fanning along my exposed neck.

His movements were frenzied, his body shifting so that my back was against the bed, his form hovering over me as I stared up at him through glazed eyes and I felt a tightening in my chest. He looked surreal, like I could blink and he’d disappear. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes, my vision blurred as I felt gentle fingers wipe away the wetness from under my eyes.

He knew. I knew. Without words we understood that this was more than the usual fuck. That my shaking hands weren’t from the chill that nipped at my exposed skin but from nerves that threatened to overtake me. The fear of being left broken and used once Levi got his fill made my heart pound rapidly. I felt ridiculous, a prostitute whose job was to make men call my name in pleasure but here I was, my face red and my body tense at the prospect of not being good enough.

Soft lips found my closed eyelids and I grabbed onto thick biceps, too afraid to open my eyes in fear that it wouldn’t be Levi leaning over me, that it wouldn’t be Levi who caressed my face with thin, cool fingers. So many years I had spent in this same position with my eyes closed and my legs open as someone who bought my attention used me for their money’s worth. I don’t know what overcame me but the crippling fear that this would all be a dream threatened to strangle my throat and I found it hard to breathe evenly.

I didn’t want anyone else but him to be above me in that moment.

“Eren…”

The soft sound of my name brought me to my senses and my eyes snapped open, taking in grey eyes that reflected the light coming in from the window. Soft hair framed a thin face and long eyelashes fluttered as the man above me blinked, grey eyes swimming with curiosity.

I must have looked a mess.

I breathed in slowly, trying to calm my racing heart as I reached my hands up and cupped his face, bringing him down to me as a sort of sweet calm washed over me. I let my actions speak louder than words because honestly I was awful at words. My eyes closed as he neared and I sighed quietly at the feel of his body relaxing on top of mine and a feeling so foreign made itself known and I paused before deciding that I liked this feeling.

 I felt safe.

We lost ourselves to the feel of smooth skin under our fingers, to the sweet sounds that left our lips, and the pleasure that threatened to overcome us. I lost myself in the feeling of his heartbeat pounding just as hard against mine as I took him in willingly, our quiet moans blending together in my dark bedroom.

When our bodies gave out and our hearts slowed to a comfortable pace, we settled against the bed, our bodies facing each other as we clasped hands. The prominent smell of sweat and body fluids spread throughout the room but I found myself enjoying the blissful feeling of after sex that I didn’t mind the weirdly pleasing odor.

Our legs were tangled together underneath the covers, our noses pressed against each other as I watched his sleeping form through half-lidded eyes, my mouth lose and my body buzzing as I my mind came down from being up in the clouds.

I found myself void of regret and a small grin found its way onto my face and I nuzzled closer to him, my eyes closing as I lost myself in the scent of him and the warm feeling of happiness deep in my belly.

I had never been so content.

C=3

“I didn’t know post-New-Year’s-Eve-sex breakfast was an actual thing that happened.”

“Well it is now. Shut up and eat your damn food, you ungrateful fucker.”

“Yes sir.”

C=3

Late afternoon sun shone through the window in my living room, its light casting a pleasant feeling over my body as I snuggled farther into Levi’s chest. His arms tightened around me, the couch springs underneath him squeaking as his shifted slightly, his even breaths blowing against the back of my neck. I floated in between sleep and awareness, the TV’s volume turned to a gentle hum as our bodies took up the couch and the faint smell of Levi drifted to my nose, soothing me.

When I felt the touch of chilled fingers against my temple, I shifted to nestle closer to the familiar hands, my mouth hanging open loosely as I drifted back into the beckoning in-between. Distorted words found my ears and what sounded like muffled lyrics reached my half-consciousness. Gentle fingers brushed through my hair and clipped fingernails scratched lightly at my cheek making my nose twitch as I fought the urge to sneeze.

Gentle fingers and the muffled song paused, Levi’s chest rumbling as he spoke, “Eren…?”

My lips felt heavy as I tried to reply, my response coming out as gibberish and a soft chuckle made me peel my eyes open. Breathing deeply through my nose as Levi’s hands brushed through my hair, I propped my chin on his chest, eyes drooping with drowsiness. Amused grey eyes found mine and a small grin pulled up at my lips, a yawn breaking my serene expression as I shifted on top of Levi’s warm body.

“Have a nice nap?”

A hum of agreement came from my throat and I relaxed on top of him, noticing his lips pulled up in a relaxed grin. My features scrunched as I opened my lips in a yawn, Levi’s hands gently caressing my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around his chest.

“Mm, what time is it?”

“Eleven forty-five.”

My eyes popped open in surprise as I sprung up into a sitting position, my lips open in surprise. “P.M.?”

“A.M.”

“Oh… how long have I been sleeping?”

Levi’s eyes flashed with amusement as he stretched his arms above his head, a loud yawn spilling from him and as he relaxed and he grabbed my arm, pulling me back on top of him, my legs straddling him.

“We woke up at about eight and had breakfast, then you insisted that we shower together and afterwards we ended up here at around…” he paused, thinking, “Ten thirty, so not that long.”

 I nodded and traced patterns into his chest, my eyes staring blankly at the TV as a rerun of _Friends_ played. My thoughts wandered as I contemplated the foreign relaxed feeling running through me, not necessarily against it. Warm hands were placed on top of my thighs and I pulled out of my thoughts to look down at Levi, noting the conflicted emotions in his eyes.

“Do you regret last night?”

His words surprised me and I shifted on top of him as I mulled over his question, not entirely sure myself until digging deeper. Leaning so that my forehead was against his, I smiled and rubbed my nose against his, my voice soft, “No. It’s strange but… I’m really happy actually.”

When I pulled away, Levi’s eyes swam with heat and he sat up, making me slide into his lap as one of his arms wound around my waist, playing with the edge of my shorts as his other hand cupped my cheek, thumb brushing against my skin. “You should smile more, it makes your face light up.”

I found myself twisting away from his touch, embarrassment clouding my features as his grip on me tightened and a quiet laugh left his lips. My mouth formed in a pout and I wiggled around, displeasure flooding me at his amusement of my reaction.

                “Bitch.”

                He buried his face in my chest, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter as I sighed, rolling my eyes at him even though he couldn’t see and I ran my fingers through his rough undercut. A tender feeling overcame me and I blinked, pausing as the revelation that I wasn’t against being affectionate with him slapped me right in the face. Who was I?

                I felt brand new.

                And I wasn’t scared.

C=3

                “I can’t believe we’re back at Denny’s.”

                An amused snort came from the man across from me, his eyes glued to the menu as loud wailing came from the table behind us. I scowled, fed up from hearing the damn thing cry for the past ten minutes. I sighed loudly, hoping my passive aggressive behavior would reach the ignorant parents’ ears and they would shut the kid up before I did.

                “So, you find naked chicks hot enough to be inked on your arms?”

                Levi’s shoulders lifted up in a shrug and he reached a hand up to scratch his cheek, “I went a little nuts when I was eighteen. I’m guessing you were too preoccupied to look at the tattoos on my back.”

                “You have tattoos on your back?”

                “Mhm, and my hips.”

                Swallowing thickly as I pushed the arousal away as images of Levi’s inked body made it hard to think straight. Deciding to drop that topic, I placed my chin in my hands that were resting on the table, my face mushing unattractively as I kicked Levi in the leg to get his attention, “How isn’t that bothering you?”

                Without pulling his eyes from the menu, he flipped the page, eyes roving the syrup-covered surface, “I have a little brother that cries louder than that.”

                Curiosity flooded me and I sat up straight, my head tilted to the side as I regarded Levi with a questioning glance. He never mentioned having a brother. But then again, we didn’t talk about our personal lives that much.

                “How old is he?”

                “Six, about to turn seven in a month.”

                He pulled his attention from the menu just as the crying behind me finally stopped and he placed the menu onto the table, leaning back against the booth. “Want to meet him?”

                My body tensed, instinct telling me to run, to drop all contact I had with him. I found myself glaring at Levi through narrowed eyes, the habit of running away making my feet itch to get up and leave.

                He seemed to notice my tense body but he continued to stare at me expectantly, not surprised in the least that I was reacting the way that I was. He raised an eyebrow as I clenched my hands into fists on top of the table, my mouth in a straight line as I tried to control my breathing. His eyes swam with understanding and not finding the ulterior motive in his eyes, I tried to reason with myself.

                All he did was invite me to meet his brother. Nothing else. He didn’t ask me to marry him or move in with him (if he had I would have been halfway to my apartment). He didn’t ask for commitment.

Taking a deep breath as I told myself to calm down, I relaxed my clenched hands. Breathing out slowly, I laced my fingers together as I tore my gaze away from his, my voice shaking slightly as his lips pulled up into a small grin, eyes swimming with relief.               

                “Sure.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, they have sex outside of the brothel for the first time. Is this love I see? 
> 
> The end is near, my friends and I couldn't thank you guys enough for all the positive feedback I've been getting. I really love you guys and appreciate you taking the time to read this cruddy fic. 
> 
> Leave a comment if you have any questions or you can find me at humanitiesmidget on Tumblr!


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